Not Fate, Just a Coincidence - Sila Paniker

Here We Go Again (A Poem) - Mel Schweizer

Here we go again, the the hours feel endless, and continue on somberly, but there is never enough time in one day.
Where do the minutes go after they tick by? Lost to the void, unable to go back. Unable to change the past.
Here comes Day One. The bell rings, and the past minute you have just lived, exists no longer but in memory. Now, marks the New Year.
Page after page is written, event after event is learned, smile after smile is faked
High School, a place of learning, a place of tear shed, a place of knives shoved so far in each of our backs, only bloody handles sticking out, placed there by our peers, and a place of monotony.
We want nothing more than to live our lives, express ourselves truly, though rarely do we encourage others to do the same
One mistake, one odd or quirky thing you do, the wolves start howling, starting a chain of noise, becoming louder and louder, stronger and wilder, until the ringing is all you hear, and you suffocate in the hurting words, the piercing howls, then the silent avoidance...
You start the year with a clean slate, Tabula Rasa, mind blank from the blissful summer months, hoping to avoid stares, hoping to avoid drama, hoping to avoid him.
Maybe the past minutes are written on that blank slate. Maybe they are engraved into the oddly malleable material that is your mind. You can't get them back, but they are there. You are a witness.
But if that is the case, why is it so difficult to retain information learned from an hour before? Where did Columbus sail to again? What is the definition of an antithesis? How do you figure this math problem out?
The bombardment of new information inflicts chaos in my brain, heightened emotions, stress, and forgetfulness.
Teacher, tell me, how do I succeed in life? How do I succeed in school? How do I succeed in finding healthy relationships? Have you succeeded? Are you happy?
Do I need to be here?
Do I?
Can't I just live in the shadows, sink away, and bleed into my surroundings?
I don't want to cry. I don't want to fail.
I can't bear to see his face.
I feel like a fish in frozen water:
in my element, yet somehow, I'm held back.
I won't sink, yet I can't float to the top.
something is holding me back,
but my eyes can't see that the water has turned to ice.
I keep breathing, but I'm not moving-
something is holding me back...
But maybe things will turn up.
Maybe the ice will thaw.
Maybe I will prevail,
before, all had gone wrong,
but maybe it's because I've started my own trail.
the path hasn't been cleared yet,
so it is bumpy, rocky, slick and wet-
Inevitably, I'll slip.
But I hope I'll get back up again.
I will.
I know I'll get back up again.
School is what I've known my whole life.
I might as well embrace it than let myself fail.
Let not the bloody knives stick into my back,
and let not myself stick them into anyone else.
Only then, will my conscience be clear,
If I rid myself from the toxins of society, and let in the light, let in the knowledge, let in the love.
Because I willfully accept it.
Universe, get me strength.
God knows I need it.


(Side note: I know this poem is dark, but please don't be concerned. A lot of my writing is pretty dark, and it is a way to get my emotions and my anger out especially. In any case, I hope you enjoyed my slightly dark take on the new school year. I wish success for everyone and myself. <3)

 I decided to use a picture of the breakfast club because it's an iconic high school movie. If you haven't watched it, what have you been doing your whole life?