Some Depressing News (Bad Pun, I'm Sorry) - by Kavya Kamath

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On October 3, 2019, British scientific journal Nature published the study "Brain regulation of emotional conflict predicts antidepressant treatment response for depression" (https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-019-0732-1). Here is a short article on it from BrainPost: https://www.brainpost.co/weekly-brainpost/2019/10/1/brain-regulation-of-emotional-conflict-predicts-antidepressant-treatment-response-for-depression.

The study explored the controversy of antidepressants, examining how emotional conflict regulation plays a large part in their effectiveness. As in, antidepressants were more effective in those who had more control over conflict with and between their emotions.

But what really struck me was that despite their controversy, antidepressants (or therapy, or some other form of rehabilitation) are sorely needed, especially since depression rates are on the rise and have been for about a century.

So, I decided that for this blog post, I would compose a poem about depression. Now, as a disclaimer, I've never had depression, nor do I intimately know anyone with depression, so I cannot claim this is in any way a true representation of what it is like. However, I've read books and articles and studies on it, and I do know that this is hardly comparable to the real thing, but I did my best to paint an accurate picture.

"Truth and Illusion" is a story (in the form of a poem, of course) about a situation in which intervention (such as with antidepressants, counseling, etc.) didn't happen.


Truth and Illusion
You are not alone. (800) 273‑TALK (8255)

Shattered mirrors
And broken glass

 Time passes
Slowly, slowly.

The quiet surrounds,
Envelops and swallows.

Swallows whole.

Truth and illusion.

Shattered mirrors
And broken glass

Realizations pass
Of the past

And present
And future

I knew her
Yet didn’t.

I thought she was okay,
But the truth.

The truth was that…
She wasn’t

Her smile was an illusion.
Her laugh was a lie.
Her gaiety was gray.

And the truth,
Blue and cold and sad and true

The truth was pain
So deep

Pain that forced out every other emotion.
The truth was more than just depression.

She was more than that.
Until she wasn’t

Shattered mirrors
And broken glass

Her smile was an illusion.
Her scars were the truth.

But an illusion
Is so much easier to swallow

Than the truth.
Truth and illusion

But the truth,
The pain, anger, sadness, jealousy, loneliness, fear, shame

Has one thing in common
With her, my, our illusion

Both killed her
Truth and illusion

Her life was an illusion.
And her death is the truth.


(sad poem, happy pills)

P.S. To anyone who may be possibly worried about me now, don't worry. I'm not depressed, mental illness is just a subject I find fascinating and that is really close to my heart.

Comments

  1. AnonymousOctober 10, 2019 at 3:42 PM

    Hit it out of the park. When I read something by you I never want it to end!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousOctober 17, 2019 at 4:00 PM

      Thank you, thank you. My sincerest expressions of gratitude.

      Delete
  2. DanielleOctober 11, 2019 at 7:50 AM

    Great poem - this is always an important topic and I like that you put the help number at the top.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousOctober 17, 2019 at 4:06 PM

      Thank you!

      Yes, it is quite important to me, especially since it can happen to anyone and is rather insidious in nature.

      Delete
  3. AnonymousOctober 16, 2019 at 7:01 PM

    This was so beautifully written. I love your stories and poems!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousOctober 21, 2019 at 7:06 PM

    Mental health is such a tricky subject to write about, but this was done so well. I love you and your writing. <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousOctober 27, 2019 at 2:25 PM

      Thanks! I tried my best to make it accurate. I'm glad I did it okay. :)

      Delete

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