Family Vacation by Grace McDonough

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Early last year, my mom sprung some awful news on us. My grandparents were going to have a family get-together vacation for their 50th wedding anniversary. You might be wondering how that could possibly be bad news. Well, my friends, it seems you haven’t met my extended family.
Worse yet, my mom suspected that my grandparents' destination of choice would be...
Wait for it...
A Disney Cruise.
For perspective, I’m one of the oldest cousins on my mom’s side. My sister is 25, my brother is 22, and I’m 16. There are 10 other cousins, who are almost all under the age of 10. I have no doubt in my mind they would have loads of fun on a Disney Cruise, and as for the adults, well, I’m sure they’d have fun as long as there was a plentiful amount of alcohol on board. That leaves me in some sort of kid-adult limbo. I’d resigned to believing that the only way I would have fun on this trip is if I somehow spiked my water bottles with just enough tequila to make things interesting. Let’s not forget that this original plan involved a CRUISE which you could not pay me enough to willingly get on. Don’t get me wrong, I love me a good boat, but a cruise? Name a worse vacation. Listen, being confined on a vehicle that continuously rocks back and forth for an entire week is not really my style. It bewilders me that people have ever enjoyed something like that, but that’s enough on cruises. I have more complaining to do!! Fortunately--or unfortunately, it’s debatable--the cruise plan was scrapped. Instead, we would be taking a week-long trip to Peru! 
Wait, sorry, Peru, Vermont. Not South America. 
When this whole coronavirus thing got serious and school was canceled, I thought for sure that the Peru trip would be kaput. Initially, I was very happy, but guilty all the same. This was a celebration of my grandparents' anniversary after all, and it’s a wonderful thing. Estranged as I might feel from my non-immediate family, it might be nice to get closer to them!

Then, I imagined how a conversation with one of my aunts or uncles might go.
Ahem:
“Wow, look at you, Gracie. I can’t believe how tall you’re getting!”
Well, I was also 5’9’’ at Thanksgiving, but thanks. “Haha. Thanks. It’s nice to see you.”
"So, um… how’s school? What’re you in, college now?”
Should I just say yes? “Nope, ahaha. I’m in high school.”
“Wow, I remember high school.”
Riveting. “Haha.”
“...Alright well, I’ll talk to you later!”
This is the only conversation we will have with each other this entire trip. “Okay!”
So now you’ve seen the caliber of interesting conversation I’m dealing with here. I can just picture it now… I’ll be sitting by the pool, in my bikini, tanning and relaxing. My headphones will be in, volume all the way up, and a book in my hands. Suddenly, I’ll feel a tap on my shoulder. “Hey, can you watch the little kids for me? I’m just gonna go have a drink.” If that happens, I would have half a mind to hold out my hand and say, “pay up.” I’m not a babysitter! What should I do if your kid drowns in the pool, huh? I don’t even know CPR. If I have to get in the pool, my suntan lotion is going to run off I might as well have just stayed inside.
There are so many things wrong with this trip, like the fact that we are an enormous family and some of my relatives are literally flying internationally to be there while there’s a global pandemic going on. Not to mention that my grandparents, two of the oldest people alive, are literally hosting it. My brother was forced to invite his girlfriend and if there was a surefire way to cause a breakup, this family trip is it. Let’s not forget that this place does not have air-conditioning and we will be staying there through the hottest week of the summer. I don’t think I’m a pessimistic person, but my brain is short-circuiting trying to find positives here.
This picture is how I feel
Okay, if you read that whole thing I’m proud of you. I just felt the need to rant and it’s all my family can talk about it right now. Believe me, my siblings are dreading it just as much as I am!! I also haven’t forgotten that this is my final blog post of the year. I’ll miss getting to be passionate like this once a month for the whole class to see. It was a great school year, despite some unforeseen circumstances. I’ll miss you guys! Wish me luck on the McDonough Peru Extravaganza 2020!




Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 29, 2020 at 3:58 PM

    That sounds like one great trip to look foward too HAHAha but maybe you will make some fun out of it? Vermont is cool, I think.

    ReplyDelete
  2. DanielleJune 1, 2020 at 10:57 AM

    This was hysterical, but I am going to need to you email an update upon your return! I have to know what happens!

    ReplyDelete

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